OK, so here’s the thing.


I try to be good. No, don’t laugh. I do. I’m just not very good at it. But let’s acknowledge just one little fact here:the Mama is setting me up for failure.


Take today for instance. There is a pretty hard and fast rule at Casa de Kolchak: No stuffed toys on the lawn. Apparently, we leave them out there and they got soggy and wet. Once Felix hid one out there and it got moldy. And apparently it trashes the place up because we get fluffing everywhere and it blowes into the neighbors yards and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The Mama can go on for hours with this junk. I’ve learned to tune it out. So, you an imagine my surprise when today, I caught the Mama out on the lawn with Monkey.

That’s why they call it a double standard.


Apparently, the rules don’t apply to the Mama, eh? I won’t even get into what the woof she was doing. That is a post all of it’s own. My point is there she was out on the lawn with a stuffy. A cherished stuffy. The Felix’s Stuffy.


Yeah, cue the foreboding music.


OK, so here I am and all I know is that there is a stuffy in the yard and the Mama is allowing it. She didn’t make it clear that this exception to the rule applied only to her and that I was in no way welcome to (in her words “steal they toy” like a common louse.

Nor was it acceptable to play a jaunting game of keep away in response to the Mama’s strongly worded request to “drop it”.

By the time I realized my folly, it was far, far too late. I was already “bad”.