I am handsome as woof, right? The glossy coat. The shiny eyes. The super rare and really classy black puggle colour. And that tongue? I’m practically a work of art.

I KNOW! We’ll just wait a moment while you stop laughing and pull yourself together. That is like the most ridiculous statement ever, eh? Where does the Mama even come up with this crazy stuff?! I declare, sometimes I think that woman just stays up night dreaming of nw ways to get herself n trouble. It’s sad really.

Of course he’s not. Come on, Mama, he’s not even black for barking out loud. Doesn’t she even know what they say: “Once you go black, you’ll never go back. (What? WHAT?! That isn’t even inappropriate. People say that. I don’t know why. Humans have some weird as woof expressions. Just last night I hear someone describe something good as “the cat’s meow”. That’s not a GOOD thing! When  hear the cat’s meow that’s means THE TIME TO PANIC IS NOW! Humans,  just don’t get ‘em sometimes!)

They’re calling it Amos, which let’s face it, needs to change. Puggles should have awesome names. I think this guy should be named Vincenzo. In my head I started referring to him as Vinnie two paragraphs ago. (Why should he be named Vincenzo? You get major Kolchak cool points if you know the answer.)

He is 10 months old and apparently, he’s sweet and a little shy, plus lets face it. He’s my brotha from anotha motha! He’s got to be totally awesome.

He just needs to know that *I* am the handsomest puggle ’round these parts and he best step off, if he thinks he can just let my Mama think he’s handsome. That’s MY Mama. I’m the only handsome guy.