Our house has been invaded by a tiny little alien intruder.
They say his name is Lu and he is my cousin, but I dunno, dog. He doesn’t look like any dog I’ve ever seen and frankly, he doesn’t act like one either. Every dog I have ever met naps like 13 hours a day. Lu never sleeps, he just wrestles. Plus, he makes this weird snorty sound when he eats, like maybe he’s a piglet wearing a dog suit. It’s just not right. This weird alien dog has the sharpest teeth of any dog I have ever met. It’s like there’s a velociraptor in his mouth. I’m thinking about getting a sign to hang in the living room.
They say his name is Lu and he is my cousin, but I dunno, dog. He doesn’t look like any dog I’ve ever seen and frankly, he doesn’t act like one either. Every dog I have ever met naps like 13 hours a day. Lu never sleeps, he just wrestles. Plus, he makes this weird snorty sound when he eats, like maybe he’s a piglet wearing a dog suit. It’s just not right. This weird alien dog has the sharpest teeth of any dog I have ever met. It’s like there’s a velociraptor in his mouth. I’m thinking about getting a sign to hang in the living room.
I mean seriously, he tried to pierce my ear. Do I look like the kind of dog that wants an earring?
The one nice thing about having a new puppy cousin is that we get to go for big walks with him.
Well, by “big” I mean “it takes an hour to get around our little block” and by “walks” I mean “alternating begging Lu to please walk and giving up and carrying him”.
In those rare “getting it” moments, we look like this:
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Don’t get it twisted Lu.
No really, just don’t. It drives everyone crazy when you twist up all the leashes and it means we have to stop and detangle. Just knock it off. I love you like the brother I never wanted, but until you’ve grown up a bit and you quit trying to turn the living room into a WWE wrestling ring, we’re going to have mad drama. When I growl, I’m not trying to eat you, I’m trying to teach you how to behave.
Lu needs to make a few more friends.
He thinks he met the perfect “best friend” candidate on our walk. Shhhhhh! Don’t point out the obvious to Lu . OK. He’s a puppy. He’s just learning.
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