I know, right? I get all giddy just thinking about it. I should back this dog food truck up.

Kolchak killed my laptop. Well, to be fair, he maimed it. I don’t think it was intentional, although, I wouldn’t put it past that wiley little puggle. He knows how to get things done. What better way to get me away from the keyboard than by destroying it? Crafty, Kolchak, very very crafty.

Which pug you ask? Take your pick. I haven’t really decided if I’m blaming Lu or Kol for starting it. At any rate, they started wrestling about a foot from my lap and things got ugly when they ran right across the lap top, keyboard and all.

The end result? A keyboard that freaks out when I touch it, a mouse that doesn’t do anything and a crap top that is a worthless piece of junk. How exactly does a blogger blog without a laptop, I ask you that Kolchak?! Do you think people send you all these tasty treats because of your winning personality? Not so much. 

Le Sigh. Luckily, I was able to grab a wireless mouse & keyboard and now I have a glorified desktop computer.

I think they’ll be huge. Does anyone know a guy who knows a guy at Apple? They’re my first choice to engineer this eighth wonder of the world, but I’m open to proposals from any manufacturer. Here’s what I want:

• A keyboard that doesn’t freak out and type with hieroglyphics when danced on by paws
• An “undo canine commands” button which rights all wrongs created in the aforementioned keyboard dance
• While we’re talking about keyboard, if all the dog hair in the house didn’t accumulate under the keys, that would be swell.
• Also, fur repellent screen. Nothing ruins an image edit, like trying to erase a line that turns out to be a piece of puggle hair.
• Scratch resistant mouse pad. Claws are sharp, they shouldn’t killed the mouse.
• Custom colours – I want a turquoise one! (I know this isn’t a “dog friendly” feature, but I really miss those old school coloured MacBooks!)