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Advice from the Dog: 7 Ways to Help a Sick Human

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the Mama is sick as a Dog.
Seriously y’all. I feel like I live with Linda Blair in the Exorcist. It is not pretty. Plus it’s like 18 million degrees in our house today because someDaddy turned the thermostat way UP instead of way DOWN, but the Mama is still shaking like a chihuahua, claiming to be cold. Come on now Mama, we know that’s not even possible. Our house feels like it’s on the face of the sun and you’re cold? Man, you must be one sick puppy.

Even though she totally abandoned me last week when I was sick, I am taking extra good care of her.

Being a nurse to a human is hard work! And I am not entirely sure that the Mama was always appreciative! (She kept mumbling something about Nurse Ratched. I don’t know who that is, but Daddy said it was not nice.)

Do you have a sick human? Here’s how you can help them feel better.

  1. Lots of kisses. There is nothing that helps a sick, nauseous human more than hot, meaty dog food breath right in their nose. Seriously, it helps more than you know.
  2. Pin ’em down. Sick humans have a little something I like to call “Superman Syndrome”. They think they can still do anything. the Mama was at home sick and actually thought “Hmmm, maybe I’ll clean the spare room.” No, Mama. You won’t. Sit on your human’s chest to prevent unnecessary moving about. The added bonus? If you human happens to be stuffed up, they’ll have to work extra hard to breathe. That’s good for their lungs.
  3. Sick humans often have bad dreams. If you believe that your human is having a nightmare, just walk right up and WOOF in their face. They’ll thank you for making sure they get a nice sleep free of night terrors.
  4. Help clean up. Sometimes when humans aren’t feeling very well they throw up. It’s a sad fact and it seems to really upset them. Help them forget what happened by offering to clean up. You know what mean.
  5. Snuggles, lots and lots of snuggle. the Mama had the chills really badly. A dog snuggled up on both sides is like sleeping with two personal heaters. She was definitely less shivery when we were looking after her.
  6. Remind them to eat. Sick humans don’t have much of an appetite. (Plus they’re afraid of having to deal with #4 more than once.) Remind them that they need to eat by occasionally taking a bite of their Koly Noodle Soup. Not only does it remind them the soup is there, but it motivates them to eat that soup faster.
  7. Lots of fluids. Sick humans need to drink. Maybe get them one of those water bottles and little travel bowls they use for us. Bring it to them when they’ve gone to long with out a drink. It’s awfully effective. You know what else works? Flipping your water bowl. They see the spilled water. Refill it and think “Hey! I should have a drink too!” It’s like magic.
That’s it! Those are our tips to help your sick human feel better! What do you do when your human is sick?

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