Tasty Tuesday: Betcha Can’t Eat Just One

I like to think that I have a fairly average, stereotypical set of humans. They walk like humans, talk like humans and have average human habits. (At least I think they do, let’s be honest, MY humans are about the only humans I’ve ever known, they could be circus freaks for all I know.)If your bi-peds are anything like mine – at the end of a long day, they collapse all over the couch like they are trying to smother it to death. Poor couch, it just doesn’t stand a dog-forsaken chance once Daddy throws his ogre-shaped body all over it. I wonder why it hasn’t gone to the big furniture store in the sky yet – it takes a lot of abuse. I looks like it lived through a war. (In all seriousness Dad, I heard Mama say either YOU or that couch has gotta go. You might want to work on that.)

And once those humans of mine are on the couch, TeeVee hypnotizes them. He is sneaky that TeeVee, Mama always says she is just going to relax a few minutes and watch Sheldon Cooper, but then before she knows it – WHOOMP! There it is. She’s been on the couch for a hundred thousand years. A hundred thousand years is a long time to stay on the couch.

Part of the TeeVee’s magic spell is that it gets Mom to snack on foods she wouldn’t touch otherwise. Foods like *gasp* potato chips. I KNOW! I KNOW! It makes no freakin’ sense. She eats good aaaalllllll day, spends a lifetime on that human hamster wheel, then stuffs her gullet with chips. Sometimes I wonder if Mama is as smart as she pretends to be.

The worst part of this whole story? SHE WON’T SHARE! Not even one little chippie. It’s cruel and unusual punishment for a puggle like me. They smell soooooooo good. So I got to thinking, if Mama wasn’t going to share her chips with me, she was just going to have to make me some chips of my own.

Mama, get your jellyfish butt OFF the couch and get into the kitchen! (*ahem* I mean, please Mama, sir!)

Kolchak’s Chips – Chicken flavour

4 – 5 small beets
4 – 5 small sweet potatoes
4 – 5 small yams
2 very large carrots
(We like to use St. Valery carrots that are about 2″ to 3″ around)
Optional: 2 dried chicken chewies (or freeze dried dog treats, like Purebites, in your favourite protein)

Sweet Potato

Peel and wash all of the veggies. Slice them as *thin as possible*. To do this, Mom likes to use a mandolin. BOL, I crack me up! Not *that* kind of mandolin, this kind of mandolin. It’s a fancy pants kitchen tool to make slicing easy as pie – we have a Borner which is a little pricey, but so worth it. The cheap ones fall apart if you regularly slice root vegetables.

Yum! Yams

Break chicken chewies into chunks and place in a food processor (or our fav – the Magic Bullet*). Process until chicken has been reduced to a fine powder. Place in container or baggie with vegetable chips and shake to coat.

Giant Carrots

Arrange vegetable slices on a drying rack or in dehydrator racks. (Our  dehydrator is a NESCO. The plastic racks are stackable and you can buy extras to make even more treats per batch!) Place in oven on lowest temperature (150F) or in your dehydrator on vegetable setting.

 

We could only find GIANT beets, so we cut it into quarters

Dehydrate overnight or until veggies are crisp and SNAP like chips when broken.

Bone Appetit!

*Please note that we received no promotional consideration from Borner, Magic Bullet or NESCO, but if they wanted to send us stuff, that would be freakin’ sweet.

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