So, it’s no secret that the puggle is a bit of a food hound.
And by “a bit” I mean that once, a cookie fell behind the dresser and Kolchak caught a whiff of it in the middle of the night, then cried until we woke up, MOVED THE DRESSER and got it out. To this day, I see him snarfing ’round the edges of the dresser hoping for a treat score. Apparently puggles (and elephants) never forget.
That boy doesn’t fool around when it comes to food.
Knowing this, you would think that I would have developed some coping strategies for when I’m eating a really yummy meal, but no. I’m an idiot and sometimes, I think I probably set the puggle to fail. In my defense, it’s only when I’m really, really lazy. (That makes it cool, right? No?? NO?!?!?)
5 Totally Ineffective Strategies for Keeping the Puggle Off Your Dinner Plate
Strategy #1: Don’t eat at the dinner table
Seriously, sitting at a table might be making it too easy for the puggle. He isn’t even tall enough to steal off the table. Sitting on the couch is your best totally ineffective way to keep him from trying to steal off your plate. The plate will be right at snout height, it will be all wobbly and unstable in your hands and the puggle will have lots of opportunity to pull a grab & run.
Strategy #2: Use nonsensical commands.
Sure, Kolchak responds without question to commands like “down” or “off”, but why use those?! You’re tired…you’re hungry. Now is the time to pull out some classic commands like “Dude!”, “Waaahhhhh!” and “I don’t want to share, Kolchak! STEP OFF!” It’s completely ineffective.
Strategy #3: Only pay half attention.
Holding your plate and eating stir fry is boooooooring. Obviously, you need to be doing at least one more thing. Advanced level multi-taskers (like me) can handle holding a plate, eating stir fry, watching TV and sending messages on Facebook. (Ha! Look at my over-confidence there. I can’t even walk and chew gum.) Dividing your attention so you’re barely focused on the food is a totally ineffective way to keep the puggle from food stealing.
Strategy #4: Don’t crate the puggle
You might have one of those giant dog containment cubes in your home, but those are the wimps way out. This is a competitive sport. If you can’t keep the puggle off your plate without using tools and tricks, you should be ashamed. Indulge your ego here. It’s important and completely ineffective.
Strategy #5: Dance Monkey, Dance
Have you ever juggled? No?? I hope you’re a fast learner! There’s no time like the present to master the art of juggling a plate full of stir fry. Dodge to the left! Duck to the right! Don’t spill the teryaki sauce! You better hope the puggle’s wits are dimmed because he is FAST and DETERMINED. This dancing around with a plate is not going to be very effective at all.
So, as you can probably guess, Kol and I shared a plate of stir fry last night.
I have no idea what I was thinking. I mean, that boy is driven when it comes to food and I wasn’t exactly at my best. Looking back, it was inevitable. What can I say? I was having a DUH moment.
Does that ever happen to you? Do you have any “what were you thinking” moments when it comes to your pets?
Are You Kidding Me, Kolchak? | Kol's Notes
Wednesday 13th of March 2013
[...] thanks a heap, Einstein. Where were you on Chinese food night?! We’ve already told you how I have some pretty ineffective strategies for managing the puggle w.... I’ve been trying to do better and we’ve been working hard on our “OFF” and [...]