For while there, I thought the Casa de Kolchak bedtime fairytale was over.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the ongoing saga of sharing a bed with dogs at our house, then maybe flip back and check fairytales 1 – 4 out. Just click here. It’s OK, we’ll wait. *hums 90s pop ballads*
After we banished the toys from the bed last winter, I kind of thought that we had finally got our groove back. We all had out spots. We were sleeping. Life was good. And then one night last week, this happened:
I came to bed and Felix was sprawled out SMACK DAB in the middle of the pillows, on his back with his legs in the air like a dead bug. I shifted him to one side, he made a disgruntled sound and moved himself back. I tried turning him sideways, so I could at least put my FACE on a pillow, but he was not keen on that either. HUMPF. If I buy the bed, can I have a good spot in it?
(Kol’s Note: No, you’re the human. You takes what you can gets.)
Things did not improve when Kolchak came to bed.
It seems that he also believes that the best spot is in the middle of the bed. Hmmm. I tried shifting him to one side, but that didn’t work. (Honestly, in retrospect, I’m not sure why I tried it. Did I really think it was going to work? Why? Based on it’s sparkling track record of success when moving Felix?! GAH.)
Reconciling myself to my lot in life and my spot on the lower corner of the bed, I snuggled in under the covers with my small corner of a pillow (that was mostly pillow case). Everything would have been fine, except that it’s getting awfully cold here. Cold enough that we’re wearing a lot of sweaters. Cold enough that I’ve had to turn the heat on.
Did you know that puggles giant babies who DETEST being cold? It’s true. Sometime, not long after we turned in, Koly decided that he was cold and that it was time to claim what he felt was his rightful place under the covers. He is nothing, if not a user, so as he climbed under, he snuggled right up to me, determined to suck up all my heat too.
Frankly, my puggle runs a little hot and sleeping with him snuggled right up to me is kind of the same as sleeping with a toasted marshmallow. (Black on the outside and way too hot in the middle.) I shifted ever so slightly over, trying to put some space between us while still balancing on the edge of the bed. This was not to Kolchak’s liking. He shifted again, so he was pressed right up against me. Mental note: buy lighter pajamas next time I’m out.
Eventually, I give up on carving out a spot on the bed that I can call my own and drift off to sleep. And then every. woofing. night. the same thing happens.
I wake up absolutely freezing. For the first minute or so, I’m always profoundly confused.
“Why is it so dark?”
“Why am I so cold? … I was hot. I’m sure I was hot? Am I sick?”
And then as I blink myself awake, I realize what has happened. Kolchak has gotten too warm and moved to the other side of the bed…taking the covers with him.
If I’m lucky, really, really lucky, that is also when I realize Felix has migrated down to snuggle…and my face is firmly cuddled into his rear end.
Life with dogs is so darn glamourous.
And what do you suppose I do when this happens? What do you suppose I can do?!
Nothing. This is just my lot in life. I roll over, grab my secret blankie hidden in the night stand drawer and drift off back to sleep hoping that Santa will bring these dogs dog bed and teach them to sleep on them. Visions of sugar plums ain’t got nothing on dreaming of dog beds, right?