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A Doglish to English Dictionary

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I don’t want to brag, but I am a “firetruck whisperer”

You know, like the horse whisperer, only with firetrucks. I speak the secret ancient language of the sirens. I’ve got mad skillz. So the other night, I was having this chat with a fire truck (much to the Mama’s dismay) and all of the sudden it occurred to me: 
Is my chatter annoying the Mama?!?

Hmmm…I never thought about it really. I go about my very important business and do what needs to be done, never really worrying if I might be in the way or obnoxiously loud. I mean, I am am a big deal on my blog. I can’t be worrying about whether the dulcet sounds of my bark are irritating the Mama’s over sensitive, baby ears. However, it was clear, my conversation with the firetruck WAS driving Mom nuts.

Maybe my chatter annoys the Mama so much simply because she does not know the meaning?
I know how frustrating it is to hear a word in a foreign tongue and not understand it. My pawrents are obsessed with this human word “no,” which I fail to comprehend. Maybe if I supply them with a Human to Canine translation, they will be more understanding when I simply must speak to the doorbell. 

And so, in the spirit of promoting Human/Canine relations and as acting ambassador, I give you an abbreviated version of the Human to Canine dictionary:

Bark /bark/:

1. An expression of disturbance; “Someone’s at the door!”

2. Alarm; “Someone’s at the door!”

3. Excitement; “Someone’s at the door!”

Ger or Grr /gur/:

1. Distaste; disapproval; “I don’t like that!”

2. A severe warning; “I said BACK OFF!”

Roo /ru/:

1. Melancholy; an expression of sorrow; “Woe is me!”

2. Empathy; “I hear you, Mr. Fire Engine! I understand!”

3. A melodious song when vocalized in a pack; “I’m Bluuuuuuuuuuue, oh so lonesome for you!”

Ruff /ruh-f/:

1. A greeting or salutation; “Hi!”

2. Affirmation; expression of agreement; “You bet!”

Snarl /sna-ruhl/:

1. Anger; “How dare you try to take my Kong”

2. Disapproval; “I do not think it is OK to speak to me like that, Mama. Know your role.”

3. See also“ger”

Snuffle /’snə-fəl /:

1. Investigative vocalization; “What’s under here?”

2. Exploration; “Is this edible?”

3. Discernment; “Who is this under the door?”

Whimper /’wim- pər, ‘hwim-pər/:

1. Remorse; “I’m sorry I ate that ham sandwich of yours.”

2. Forlorn; “I wish you weren’t so mad that I ate that ham sandwich of yours.”

3. Injury; “My tummy hurts from eating that ham sandwich of yours.”

4. See also “whine”

Whine /’wīn, hwīn /:

1. Plea; “Please may I have that chicken strip”

2. Unhappiness; “Felix is hogging the ball”

3. See also “whimper”

Woof /wuf/:

1. An expression of puzzlement; “Hmmm.”

2. A casual greeting; “What’s up?”

3. A demand; “Don’t come any closer to my house/human/snacks.”

Yap /yah-p/ 

mostly favored by diminutive canines:

1. To demand attention; “Look at me!”

2. To bring awareness to a situation; “Look at this!”

3. Dismay; “Where did you go?”

4. See also “yip”

Yarf or Harf /yahr-f or hahr-f/:

1. Hunger

2.  Contemplation of hunger

3. Hope of sating hunger

Yip /yih-p/:

1. An expression of alarm; consternation

2. The state of being surprised

3. See also “yap”

These are but a few entries that I think will help you come to a better understanding with your Human speaking housemates. Communication is everything! Communication…and a nice ham sandwich. 

What sounds do you wish your human understood better?


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