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How To Keep Wag’N in a Zombie Apocalypse
by Ines de Pablo
Ines is an employee Wag’N Enterprises, LLC. While her advice is aimed to get you through the Zombie Apocolypse, it’s absolutely applicable to other “Run for Your Life” situations like tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods. If you plan for the Apocalypse, you’ve planned for it all!
Ahhhh! Zombies are coming!
If you can read this, you still have a brain.
That’s the good news! You survived the last zombie attack. The bad news is that they are coming again. Zombies are a hazard and hazards do that. Below, you will find some tips on what you can do to keep you and your pets safe from Zombie attacks (or other Hazards).
What did you learn from previous Zombie attacks or other Hazards?
Zombies chase us down for only three pounds. Which three? Three pounds is the actual weight of the human brain. Hazards are there and they can strike at any time. A few tips:
West coast Zombies prefer the frontal lobe, therefore selecting frontal attacks which immediately hinder our short term memory tasks: planning, driving. Forgetting that you are supposed to strike can be a major problem. Long term memory is not affected, so that’s a good reason to get ready, prepare and plan NOW!
East Coast Zombies prefer the occipital & parietal lobes, therefore they are prone to striking form behind to disable your vision, special senses and navigation. They are slow, but their “zombie slow” if still faster than your “panicked fast”. You are more likely to panic if you don’t have a few well-rehearsed plans, so get on it!
Screaming and utter panic does not kill zombies, extinguish fires, stop earthquakes etc. You need remain calm and collected. Pets pick up on stress and should they become injured, you can make the medical condition worse by increasing blood pressure.
There is no such thing as too prepared!
Bad things happen to good people, so YES! It can happen to you and your pets.
Plan A doesn’t generally work out. Don’t sell you soul to that plan. Have good contingencies ready.
Any rehearsed plan is better than any theoretical plan.
Don’t wait until the last minute to run to the store, then wonder why all the cool anti-zombie weapons are taken and all the food and water is sold out.
Sure you have all your favourite weapons for terminating zombies (Kol’s fav is a crossbow), but let’s focus on how to prepare for Zombies (or any other Hazard for that matter).
When you decided to take in a pet, you took on the responsibility to care for the well-being of this animal for it’s lifetime, no matter what hazards (fire, zombies, boogeymen, etc). All zombie jokes aside, I prefer to recommend and “all-hazards” approach to preparedness, as the basics remain the same.
You are your pets 9-1-1. They rely on you (and your thumbs) to keep them safe and healthy.
Pets should always wear a collar with its regular identification, county license, microchip and rabies tag at all times. Update microchip information when you move, change phone numbers, get new job or anytime your contact information changes.
No matter what the nature of the emergency, pet parents will always need to consider 7 essential concepts.We all need:
and Common Sense
Check back next hour, when Ines will share important information about the 7 Essential Concepts!
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