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I Think I Might be a Bad Dog Mom (and other vomit related confessions)

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So, um, I think I might be a bad dog mom.

Before you all go assuring me I’m great and pointing out how I bake for my dogs and other junk, just hear me out. I think I lack some sort of basic mothering gene.  You know that selfless, Mama thing people do? The one that makes them not care when their loved ones vomit all over the place and become all concerned and snuggly instead?

That. I don’t have that. 

Confession: I think vomit is woofing disgusting.

I guess I should back this crazy train up and explain myself eh?

The Felix puked yesterday. Twice. 

Like the Felix does, he followed up his gag-fest by looking around to see if anyone was watching, then trying to snarf it back up.

I almost tossed my cookies.

Ugh, I almost tossed my cookies right where he had just tossed his cookies and then he would have tried to snarf the whole mess. ::gags:: I am sorry, but if that is not the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, I don’t know what is. I sprang into action, shouting and waving my hands and begging him not to do it. It was a spectacle the neighbors won’t get over anytime soon.

the Felix, totally unconcerned that he had just re-enacted a scene from the Exorcist in the yard, just waddled back into the house.

Do I actually have to clean this up? Is it wrong that I wanted to do as Adam Sandler did on Big Daddy and throw some newspapers on it? Maybe it could just pour down rain for a bit and wash the whole mess away? Confession: I did nothing. I’m going to surprise the Daddy with it when he comes home. That’s the deal. I cook the meals. He squashes the spider and cleans up the gross stuff.

To add insult to injury, you’ll never even guess what Felix did next.

“Hey Mom! Can I give you a kiss with my puke mouth?”

That’s right. He tried to kiss me. Ohmiwoof! I almost flipped out. No, I do not want to make out you and your vomit tongue, Felix. Confession. I shoved him off the couch.

The Daddy is very concerned that the Felix is sick.

Me? Not so much. Maybe I just lack that caring instinct, but I’m not too bent out of shape about it. I mean, I feel bad that he’s sick. I’m not a monster. It’s just that our Felix loves to snarf garbage and all sorts of crud he finds in the yard. If he pukes again or if he looses his appetite, I’ll be the first one to get worked up, but until then? I’m focusing all my energy on dodging his gross little kisses.

After all, puking is a fact of life. Every dog does it at some point. That doesn’t mean I have to like it, now does it?

Either that, or perhaps as I have suspected all along, I’m just a bad dog mom.

What about you. Are there things your dog does that grosses you out?

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